I’m sure David thought I had bad mood swings during my first pregnancy (although, he’d never admit it), but now I’m pretty sure he’s thinking that pregnancy was a piece of cake compared to this one. I will be the first to admit that I haven’t been easy on him for the past 7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 19 hours and 45 minutes. Not that anyone’s counting…
I would feel nauseated, which made me not feel up to doing much, which made me upset because I didn’t want to get fat. I would go exercise only to get tired and then get upset that I was tired from what I felt like wasn’t much exercise. I would feel tired just because, and then get upset because I didn’t feel like I should get tired. You get the picture.
Then there’s the crying. Oh. My. Gosh. I’ll be honest. I don’t know what I was crying about at least half the time. Okay, maybe 60-70% of the time. I cried about David not understanding what I was crying about, even though I didn’t know what I was crying about. Why couldn’t he just understand I was pregnant, and I was going to cry? Two weeks ago, I actually cried as we were walking around a pond because some male ducks were attempting to mate with a female duck. I did not know that’s what was happening at the time. Has anyone ever seen this happen? It’s more than a little frightening, and it seems as though the males are attacking the female, and none of it looks consensual. I was crying and trying to make sure Harrison didn’t see (he was busy looking at the geese), and asking David to do something. He kept asking me, “What do you want me to do?”, and I kept sobbing, “I don’t know. Do something.”. Poor, poor David.
It hasn’t helped that there’s been some issues with this pregnancy. There was the first time I was scheduled for my gestational diabetes screening. That’s right; the first time. I drank that sugary mess only to be called back and informed they called me back 12 minutes past when they should’ve drawn my blood. So, I had to take the test again the following month. I knew when they called me the next day they were going to tell me I hadn’t passed the screen. I started crying. I called David crying and upset. I was mostly upset because it was a month later than when I was first scheduled for the screen, and if they discovered I had gestational diabetes, that was a month I should’ve been eating differently. I mean, a banana almost has the daily sugar allowance for someone with gestational diabetes. Fortunately, I was more than fine, but to find out I was fine, I had to fast and then not eat until 12:30 the following day. Not something you should have to do when you’re 30 weeks pregnant.
Fast forward to last week when I had my 36-week growth ultrasound. I was thinking we’d see how wonderful our baby looked and be on our way. Nope. We found out our baby was only coming in at about 5 pounds (10th percentile), when he should have been closer to 6 pounds. When my doctor checked me, I was already 3cm dilated and 50-60% effaced. I wasn’t excited. This baby needed to hang around longer (not something most pregnant women say). Suddenly, I was scheduling an appointment with the perinatologist. We had our appointment the following day, and they confirmed the small size, but also informed us everything else looked great. However, I now have to be on modified bed rest. That’s not fun, in case you’re wondering. I have to lay on my left side (to improve flow) 6 hours a day, drink lots of fluids, and “take it easy”.
Anyway, I have 3 appointments a week. One with my OB/Gyn, and two with the perinatologist. It’s a bit much, but you do what you have to do. I love hearing my baby’s heartbeat and seeing him on ultrasound, but it’s gone from being excited to just being nervous about what the ultrasound will show and what the doctor will say. So far, so good, though.
Despite all these ups and downs, I am so grateful to be close to our family. We have had so much support, from encouraging words, to picking Harrison up from school while we’re at appointments, to helping run errands and get dinner for us. I am so blessed to have family and friends who will go out of their way to help us in any way as soon as we call. That makes me happy, and that is one emotion we can live with.